SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY DISORDER

When I found out I had anxiety disorder, I did some research. I found that there are several types of anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder. I have generalized anxiety. I worry a lot about things that are small. I often find I have no real reason to worry in the first place.

 

I learned each disorder has varying symptoms. Some general symptoms from the website WebMD at http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-anxiety-disorders, are:

• Feelings of panic, fear or uneasiness
• Problems sleeping (I can't sleep without medication because I can't stop my mind from racing)
• Cold sweaty hands and/or feet
• Shortness of breath
• Heart palpitations
• Inability to be still and calm (Sometimes when I'm anxious, I pace, or I shake my leg continuously)
• Dry mouth
• Numbness and tingling in the hands or feet
• Nausea (I worry to the point I become nauseated and I get sick)
• Muscle Tension (My muscles become tight and sore)
• Dizziness

 

These are just a few symptoms and do not cover all anxiety disorders, but if you think you have a disorder, get help. Find a therapist and psychiatrist. Your therapist and psychiatrist can help you determine which anxiety disorder you have and help you find the right treatment for your illness. With help you can find relief.

 

With the help of medication I can sleep throughout the night, I can avoid getting sick, and I can live comfortably. With the help of therapy I am learning to take control of my worries and I have learned relaxation techniques.

 

Sometimes I forget to take my medication, but with help I am in control of my anxiety. I do have bad days. It's how I handle the hard times that makes me stronger. My husband reminds me when I forget to take my medication and when my worries are out of control. With the help of medication, therapy and my husband I can continue to live in the light.

HOLDING ON TOO TIGHT

A problem I have experienced with my illness is becoming attached to people. This is also a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder. I see a person as this wonderful being who can do no wrong. I suddenly need this person's full attention and I need him or her to be there for me no matter what. I feel as if I can't go on without this person.

 

Sometimes, I developed attachments to people who didn't know how I felt. I craved their attention and their simple kind acts became much more to me.

 

I became attached to a manager where I worked and yet I rarely had a chance to have a full conversation with her. This manager was extra nice to me when I was going through a rough time. She rubbed my back when I cried in her office. Every day I looked for her. I needed her to notice me, to say hi. When she didn't, I felt my heart sink. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't. She hadn't the slightest idea that I needed her to notice me.

 

I also developed attachments to friend's. I needed my friends full attention. I felt like I had to talk with or see my friend each day. I called my friend excessively and tried to make many plans with her. I expected her to handle all my problems. When she was not available, I got very upset and felt like she was abandoning me. I often over stepped my boundaries and expected too much.

 

Even when a friend became mean or abusive, I couldn't let go. I stayed in bad relationships because I felt as if I couldn't survive without that person. The other person had to end the relationship because I couldn't. When it ended, I fell apart and thought my life was over.

 

In therapy I learned friendships go two ways. I had to give as much as the other person did. My therapist taught me how to respect my friends' boundaries and to accept that just because a friend is not available does not mean she or he is turning away from me. I learn that no person is perfect and how to stop expecting them to be.

 

Now I'm attached to my husband and he spoils me rotten. I know he'll never leave me and he loves to give me attention. I take care of his needs and show him my love. I have healthier friendships and I am able to participate in my friendships.

 

I still develop attachments to people, but now I know how to handle them and not let my need for their attention control me.

Journaling Is Therapy

During my second bout of depression, I was hospitalized. A friend came to visit me and gave me a journal. That journal became my lifeline. Each day I poured out my soul out into its pages. I wrote about the feelings I had pent up inside me that I couldn't tell anyone about. With each word I wrote, I felt like a weight was being lifted off of my soul.

I always loved to write, and I put a big part of me in my stories. I never thought about putting my thoughts in a notebook, but when my friend brought me the journal, it was like my heart was finally being opened up. My journal became my best friend. Once I left the hospital, I carried it with me every where. The best part was that no one read my journal, but me.

In therapy, my therapist had me start another journal. This journal was for positive things. Each day I had to write down something good about my day, even when I couldn't think of anything but bad stuff. Then I had to write down things about myself I liked. I found this very difficult, also. Even though I struggled, I continued to write in the journal. Writing in the new journal helped me see beyond the darkness in my soul. It showed me I had things in my life to be grateful for.

What I loved most about my journal was I didn't have to have good writing, grammar skills, or spelling. I could do whatever I wanted in my journal. Sometimes I taped pictures, notes, news articles, and comments from my customers.

I even started writing my thoughts and things that bothered me down on notebook paper and gave it to my therapist to read. This helped me communicate better with my therapist. Through words on paper, I could tell her the things that I couldn't speak.

Journaling became a form of therapy for me, and it can for you, too. You don't have to be a writer to journal. You don't even have to be able to write complete sentences. All that matters is putting down your feelings and the positive things in your life. It will help free your soul of the feelings you can't express.

When I found the light, I needed my journal less. I started to be able to see the good without writing it down. I still write in my journal, but not as often. The dark thoughts come less often.

I still look at my positive journal to remind me of all the wonderful things I do have. When things get difficult, I turn to my journal. It still serves as a form of therapy for me when the darkness slides in. Journaling helped me through many rough times and has helped me reach the light.