THE
ROAD TO RECOVERY
Most
people who are suffering with mental illness desire to reach
recovery, to be happy, and to be in control of their illness. There
are a few who are content in their sad world and resist any attempts
to get well, but for many the need for a life within the light is a
goal worth fighting for. The road to recovery is a long one that can
take years and lots of hard work to reach. In the end it is a road
worth taking.
The
road to recovery can be dark and lonely. You might feel as if you'll
never reach recovery. You might want to give up. You might feel as if
it's hopeless, but it's not. It's not a fight for the weak. You may
think you're not strong, but if you look deep inside yourself you'll
see you're stronger then you think.
My
road to recovery seemed endless. I fought it through college and
found recovery only to slip back into depression several years later.
I thought my life was doomed to be spent in darkness. Reaching
recovery once again seemed hopeless, especially since I had fallen
into an abusive relationship. Once the relationship ended I
realized,
I wanted to live a normal life. In order to find happiness, I had to
fight.
The
road to recovery was filled with many bumps and detours. I'd find
happiness only to relapse into sadness. I thought I was failing
myself, but my therapist told me it was normal to have some setbacks.
Before I met my husband, it seemed like the setbacks happened more
often. I felt as if my life was at a dead end. Some of my friendships
ended, I went to work and came home every day and after my abusive
relationship, I thought no man could ever love me. Despite the road
blocks I continued to fight, go to therapy, and take my medication.
Then
I met my husband and my road to recovery took a turn towards the
light. I suddenly had a life, respect, love, and nurturing. The road
became brighter and the darkness began to fade. The sad times came
less often and for a time, after we were married, life seemed
perfect. Then there came some bumps in the road: the stress of work,
unresolved feelings from past abuse, and excessive worries and fears
that in time my husband would leave me.
With
my husband's and therapist's help I faced each of those bumps one at
a time, to only find more bumps. I realized I had to keep on the road
which meant I had to keep fighting.
The
road to recovery took place over a period of several years. Once I
found recovery, true happiness and strength filled me. My therapist
said I no longer needed her and I knew I was standing above the hole.
The road to recovery had ended, but the road of recovery had just
begun. There is much I have to do to stay well. I have to still fight
my illness with new found strength; I have to take my medicine and
take the necessary steps to stay well.
Even
though the road to recovery only leads to a new road, I wouldn't
change it for anything. I have never been as happy as I am now. I
have never cared for myself as much as I do now. I have never felt as
strong as I do now. I know that I will continue on this road to stay
well and I will not fail. I might hit bumps and detours, but I know
with help from God, my friends, my husband and my family, I can stay
within the light.