DREADED MEDICATION

During my second bout of depression, I was told I would have to take antidepressants for the rest of my life. I cringed. Medication for life! You mean I can't live without it? Who wants to pop pills for the rest of his or her life? I sure didn't. Why couldn't I find happiness and a stable life without it? Wasn't there another way?

I soon learned there was no way around antidepressants. With medication, I would function better, I would be more stable, and I would be able to find happiness. The one thing they didn't tell me is that it's not easy finding the medication which works best for you. It's a trial and error process.

My doctor gave me a prescription for an antidepressant, and a week later I called him up crying that my depression had worsened. So I went in to be asked a few questions and was handed another prescription, but this time I couldn't stay awake. I needed to take frequent naps though out the day. I returned to his office to be prescribed yet another medication only to have a bad reaction.

Why did I continue to put myself through this torture? Wasn't there an easier way? Was this worth it? Would I ever get better? Was there a medication that would work for me?

I continued to try medications because I wanted to live a normal life, I wanted to be happy, and I wanted to be able to function. I wanted a life in the light. I was determined to do whatever it took to reach recovery.

In time, I found the antidepressant that made finding the light easier, the one medicine which brought me relief from some of the symptoms of my illness.

Medication doesn't completely take away your mental illness. Hard work in therapy combined with medication lifts you out of the hole. I went to therapy two times a week and took my medication each day as instructed. In time, I was, and still am, dancing in the light.

An antidepressant helped make the symptoms of my illness more manageable, and therapy helped me learn to change my pattern of thinking. The combination has made me a healthier and happier person. I am living a happy life with a wonderful husband. Sometimes the symptoms of my depression show their ugly head, but with my new found strength I can handle them with pride. I now go to therapy once a month and of course I take my pills daily.