A MOTHER'S LOVE

Some mothers can be understanding, loving, and supportive, while other mothers cannot mother's can not wrap their minds around their own child having a mental illness. These mothers turn away from their children and sometimes accuse them of faking their illness. I've had friends who have told me they no longer talk to their family. I am lucky; I have the full support of my family and especially my mother.

My mother had her hands full when I was a child. She's the mother of four: three girls and a boy. My father worked long hours in the family garage while mom took care of us and our home. I often burst out into emotional episodes, breaking things around me, crying and yelling. My mom always knew how to calm me down and get me to tell her about my feelings. Even when she didn't understand everything that was going on within me, she stood by me.

During my senior year of high school, my cousin was killed in a car accident, and I fell into a deep depression and started injuring. No matter how hard I tried to hide it from my mom, she knew.

During the first semester of college, I lived with my grandparents. I hid in my room planning my death, injuring, and falling further down the hole of darkness. My mom started visiting me each week to take me to the mall or out to eat. When she found out I was suicidal, she had me move back home.

While at home, my mother took me to a therapist in a nearby town. When that therapist told me I was injuring for attention, and I left her office crying, my mom searched endlessly to find me a new therapist. She even took me to a mental health hospital to ask for a referral. The hospital gave us a number to a therapist. I didn't have insurance at the time, and the new therapist charged on a sliding fee. They accepted what I could afford to pay. Eventually, I reached recovery.

Years later, when I hit the bottom of the hole again and my ex-boyfriend kicked me out, my parents brought me home to live with them. My mother spent a day taking me to mental health crisis and other mental health faculties to find me help. When I was hospitalized, it was hard for my mom to see me in the mental health hospital, but she and my father came every chance they could. My mother gave me a Bible and told me God will get me through this. That Bible became my lifeline.

My mom has always been there for me no matter what. She still is. She has stood by me through my illness and through my recovery. She always listens, supports, and believes in me. I can still turn to her when I need someone to listen and to give me words of encouragement. She will never stop believing in me and my ability to stand within the light.