THROUGH THE EYES OF A TRUE FRIEND

While struggling with mental illness, it is good to have good friends for support partners. Friends can be there during the darkest points of your illness and there in recovery. I decided to ask my dearest friend, who saw me during my roughest times and best times of my illness, what it was like to be at my side and how she coped with my illness.

This friend is Cheryl Miller and she saved my life many times and continues to cheer me on while in recovery. I asked Cheryl, “What's it like dealing with a friend with a serious mental illness?”

Cheryl replied, “It can be scary when the friend with the mental illness is fully in an episode such as when I had to pull Aimee out of the street so she wouldn't get run over. But if the friend is in recovery, it can be quite rewarding because the friend finds joy in a lot of things she may not have when deep into her illness.”

I asked, “What suggestions do you have to help a friend in a crisis?”

Cheryl answered, “Help the friend take advantage of all the help available around her, including trusting friends and family. Also help her to distinguish herself from her illness, to give the illness its own little name. That way the friend won't feel so much like she is defined by or as their illness.”

My next question was, “How do you stay positive when your friend is so depressed?”

Cheryl answered, “I just try to be there for my friend to the best of my ability. Since I have always liked helping people, I stay positive in the fact that the friend will fight through the depths of her depression with my help.”

I asked Cheryl, “How do you keep your friend positive?”

Cheryl replied, “By doing my best to direct their attention to more positive things. And getting her to the point of laughter helps, too.”

I also asked, “What is the best thing you can do for your friend when you notice she is having problems?”

Cheryl answered, “Talk to her, be there for her, be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. If you aren't able to offer that, then help her find someone who can.”

Finally I asked Cheryl, “What's the best advice you can give to someone dealing with a friend who is ill?”

Cheryl replied, “ Just be there for her, let her know she is loved and that she matters. Have patience and just do your best to help her through the rough times. If you feel too overwhelmed, then find someone who can offer those things.”

Having a good friend like Cheryl helped make the dark hole a little easier to face. All though Cheryl and I lost contact for a while, we reconnected and our friendship remains strong. She is still at my side and continues to support me. Cheryl helps me stay within the light.

Leave any suggestions for a blog post in the comments and let me know about your experiences with your illness.