SUPPORT
SYSTEM
Often,
during my illness, I felt alone. I thought if I told people what was
happening within me, they would think I was crazy or they wouldn't
understand. I felt as if my illness was a burden I had to carry on my
own. I figured if I told my parents or friends, then they would turn
away from me. So I put on a smile and acted as if nothing was wrong
when I was dying inside.
It
wasn't until I could no longer hold the pain within me I told my
mother I was sick. Instead of turning away, she went out of her way
to find me help. I realized internalizing my pain only caused me more
pain. When I turned to my Mom, a big burden was lifted off my
shoulders. I was no longer alone.
In
later years, when I fell back into darkness, I found a good friend to
lean on. When I sat alone at night contemplating taking my life, I
called her up. She talked to me for hours until she had me laughing.
I could call her any time, day or night. She had a way of talking me
out of hurting myself or doing something I would regret. When I was
really upset, she knew how to calm me down. She was the voice of
reason when I could not think of any way out of my inner hell.
After
she moved away, I turned to friends at work. Some did not understand,
but I found a few who were willing to listen and give support and
advice. These friends helped me through some trying times. Just
knowing I had people who cared, gave me hope. Having others to
support me gave me a reason to fight to reach recovery.
Building
a support system can be difficult. I'm lucky to have understanding
parents and friends. I know some people do not have these. Trusting a
friend enough to tell her them about your illness is hard. It was
hard for me. I thought people would reject me and a few friends did,
but the true friends stood beside me.
I
found my support system within my family, friends, and people I work
with. Look around you. Who do you feel the closest to, who seems to
always listen when you have a problem, and who do you trust the most?
Support groups can also be supportive. I was in a support group for
self-injury and became close friends with one of the members. Going
to a support group gave me a chance to talk to others who are going
through the same thing.
My
support system was an essential part of my road to recovery and
continues to be important to me as I fight to stay in the light.
Now that's what I like to read. Aimee you will always be my friend. And I hope our late night texts help you out. Cause I love you gal. Good job. Just live it.
ReplyDeleteI'm SO glad you found that support system in your life Aimee! Feeling alone is really frightening. It's easy to distort what we think and feel without the voices of others to balance it and keep it in perspective. When we ask God, He sends people to encourage us.I totally understand that first step in sharing is very difficult to take. The fears overpower us. I know because I have gone through that in my own life with my vision. You took a courageous step to talk to other people and risk your fears. Thank God you did and that you are pointing the way for others to do the same thing. xx God bless!
ReplyDeleteanother great blog!! very important to have a good support system, and i am so happy you have a pretty good support system. keep up the great work!!
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