EDUCATE THOSE YOU LOVE

It's hard to build relationships with the opposite sex, but even harder when you're struggling with mental illness. Sometimes people take advantage of those who are suffering and they take advantage of the sick person's weakness. Other times the partner in the relationship just doesn't understand mental illness and makes things worse. I've been the victim of both. I found myself in both situations. I lost boyfriends because they could not handle my illness and I found myself in abusive relationships.

 

I had a boyfriend who abused me verbally and in other ways. He told his friends and family what a hero he was for putting up with my illness. He had his parents and friends feeling sorry for him while he used my weakness to push me deeper into depression and self-injury.

 

When I met my husband and we started to get serious, I decided to let him know about my mental illness. I gave him information and told him he must decide whether or not he could deal with my illness. I also made it clear that if he chose to stay with me, he would have to learn how to handle my illness. He read the information and agreed to couple therapy. Every other week we went to therapy together, and my therapist educated him on how to help me with my illness.

 

By learning about depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, anxiety, and self-injury, he became more than just a boyfriend and a husband. He has become my rock, my support, and my counselor. When I'm depressed, he knows how to help me look at the bright side of life. When I'm in an emotional episode, he knows how to calm me down, and he reminds me on a regular basis to take my medication. He never asks for a pat on the back. He says he does it because he loves me.

 

It's also important to teach your friends and family members about your illness. Search online for information about your specific illness. With the help of your therapist, write down symptoms of your sickness, write down things that trigger your symptoms, and make a list of stressors in your life and what helps you during the rough times. I learned that the more I knew about my illness the more I was able to teach others about it and show them how to assist me when I need them the most.

 

To this day my husband still goes to therapy with me for support. He tells the therapist things I forget to tell or am reluctant to tell. He makes it a point to continue to be an important part of my struggles to stay within the light. With his knowledge and support, I continue to dance in the light.