A MOTHER'S LOVE

While facing mental illness, it's important to have the love and support of your parents. Your parents can be your biggest supporters, they can help you find help, they can listen, and they can be your strength. Some parents are not up to the task of handling mental illness, but parents are not always biological. Sometimes good friends or grandparents can become like mothers and fathers.

For me, my mom was my strength and support throughout my mental illness. Her determination has gotten me through some very rough times. I thought interviewing my mom about her experience with my illness may be helpful to others. Below are the questions I asked my mother and her answers.

I asked my mom, “How did you deal with the heavy load of your daughter's mental illness?”

My mother answered, “I dealt with my daughter's illness through my strong faith in God. My faith has gotten me through many rough times and it kept me strong while my daughter struggled. Also learning about mental illness and how it affects those dealing with it helped me a lot.”

I questioned my mom, “What help did you find to cope with your child's mental illness?”

My mother replied, “Literature I read about her illness helped me understand and cope. I learned it's important to learn what your child is going through. If you don't, you can't help him or her.”

I asked, “How did you go forward without being pulled into the illness?”

My mom answered, “I tried to keep a positive attitude as much as possible even when my daughter was negative. I worked hard at finding her help when she was in need of it. I prayed a lot and turned to God for extra support.”

I questioned, “How did you encourage your child to get help?”

My mother replied, “I talked to my daughter about her feelings and what she was going through. I supported her in finding help. I gave Aimee reading material about mental illness. We decided together to look for a therapist or any type of help we could find.”

I asked, “How did you deal with feelings of guilt for your child having mental illness?”

My mom answered, “I blamed myself for my daughter's illness for the longest time. I thought since my mother was ill, my daughter inherited her sickness through my blood line. I thought I gave her something awful. I learned it wasn't my fault. It's one of those things that can happen to anyone. I prayed about it and worked hard to change my way of thinking.”

I questioned, “What signs do you notice that told you your child needed help?”

My mother replied, “My daughter would get mad about simple things, she tried to hide her symptoms and self-injuries, she had trouble sleeping, she would cry easily and often, she was continually sad, she made a lot of bad choices, and she had a loss of appetite.”

I asked, “How did you find your child help?”

My mom answered, “We went to a nearby hospital and talked to someone from the mental health department and the person gave us a list of places we could go. There are also other mental health organizations and associations that can provide help.”

My mother added, “I was determined to find my daughter help, no matter what it took. I was also determined to help my daughter through her illness one way or another and I was not willing to give up. I am very proud of how far she has come.

“There is more help out there for those who are sick than there is for the families of those who suffer with mental illness. Some families don't want help because of stigma and not understanding. We need to educate families more.”

It's my mother's willingness to learn, try to understand, and stand by me no matter what that has helped me reach for recovery. Without her love and dedication, I would not be dancing within the light.