DO
YOU BLOCK YOUR OWN JOY?
Sometimes
we prevent our own joy by the way we think. We let our own
interpretations of our lives and the things around us stand as a wall
between sadness and happiness. We think things like, “How can I
enjoy my job when people are so rude?” or “I can't enjoy my life
because I'm too shy.” We find ways to block out the joy in our
lives by hiding behind excuses for our lack of happiness. These
excuses are called joy blockers.
Sometimes
we do things to block our own joy such as blaming others, diminishing
ourselves, complaining about the things around us, finding everything
boring, finding ourselves virtuous if we deny ourselves what makes us
happy and comparing yourself unfavorable to others.
I
found the joy blocker I used often was diminishing myself. I couldn't
find joy because I thought I was too ugly and a burden to men. How
could I be happy if I was too ugly for any man to want to date or
build a life with? Who would want me if I was too much to handle? I
figured I'd spend my life alone. If I wasn't good enough for a man,
then I believed I would never find happiness. After several failed
relationships, my diminished view of myself increased.
I
couldn't be happy if I was good for nothing. I spent my life
listening to others say I was useless, and at times that became a
belief of my own. I used it as an excuse to stay within the darkness.
For years I figured my unhappiness
was because I became nothing but a cashier. I was a nobody just like
everyone thought I would be. I went to college and yet I had no
skills or abilities to do anything but work in a grocery store. How
could I ever be happy as a failure?
I
also used the joy blocker called delayer. When I was in college, I
believed I couldn't be happy until I got a communications degree and
a good paying job. I concentrated on obtaining them and believed I
could never find joy until I reached my goal. After I became an
adult, I believed I would never be happy until I lived on my own and
had a husband. I thought living at home with my parents was the cause
of my sadness.
In
therapy my therapist gave me a list of joy blockers and I was able to
see that I was blocking the light from shining into my dark hole. I
learned to look at the positive qualities about myself and change my
negative thinking. I also learned to concentrate on the things I did
have instead of dwelling on the things I didn't have. I found joy
was all around me once I was willing to let it in.
By
being happy with how I reach out to my customers, I realized I am
successful. Being grateful for good friends led me on a blind date,
which is how I met my husband. Knowing that I have a job, a home and
my bills are paid brings me joy. By no longer looking at what I don't
have and finding the positive within myself I am able to bathe in the
light.
Another great post!!
ReplyDeleteOnce again, thank you so much for your transparency, Aimee. It makes me ache for the younger you that defined herself by the wrong people and criteria. I am so glad that you went so far, then stopped and change the course of your life by listening to your therapist, identifying the joy blockers and kicking them out of the way to move forward. Many vision-impaired people struggle with the same joy blockers as well. We define ourselves by our physical limitations and what people may say about us. We have to press on and let God define our beauty, and believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. You make a difference every day to your customers and you are an absolute success! So many people receive their degree and do something completely different.No one fails by doing this. They have just walked through a different door. Thank you again for sharing your hear and wisdom with your readers.
ReplyDeleteAmy
*changed
ReplyDelete*sharing your heart
Whoops! Forgive all my typos!
See you Saturday!
Amy