WHO'S JUDGING

Many of us suffering from mental illness hide it and avoid help because we fear of being judged. Prejudice exists all around us. When I was hospitalized, people commented, “I heard you were in the loony bin.” When others found out I was a self-injurer, they wondered if they should watch me around knives and asked if I liked pain. When I got a paper cut, they asked me if I did it on purpose.

 

When over there's a brutal murder or shooting the news puts emphasis on the criminal's mental illness. I was once told I was a danger to the people around me because I had a history of mental illness. The only person I have ever hurt is myself. The truth is, the majority of those who suffer with mental illness are not violent. They are only a danger to themselves.

 

Despite the prejudice that lingers around mental illness, I learned to stand above it. I believe I can educate others by being an example, by living my life to the fullest despite my illness, and by educating people through my writing. I'm no longer afraid to tell people I have an illness. I tell them with pride.

 

I have an illness, just like cancer or multiple sclerosis. It's one that cannot be seen, but it's real. It's hard to understand a sickness of the mind. The mind is complicated. Persons who are sick may look normal while inside they are falling apart. Many did not know I was ill until I was hospitalized and a so-called friend spread the word.

 

I went many years in silence about my illness because I feared no one would understand. I learned that hiding my feelings only led to deeper sadness. By sharing, I found people who were willing to learn about my sickness, and I found people who were also going through the same thing as I was.

 

Because I decided to get help, I am living a good life. I still struggle with symptoms, but I am able to manage them. Many people with mental illness live normal lives. Some are doctors, some are teachers, some are bus drivers, and I happen to be a cashier.

 

We are normal people who happen to have an illness. We can stand up to prejudice by getting help, reaching recovery, and sharing our stories. I'm sharing my story through this blog not only to help others, but also to educate others.