WHAT IS IN THE FUTURE?

I've mentioned many times how the mind can play tricks on us when we are sick. Sometimes it happens even though we are well, but when we're sick the mind becomes more troubled. We all at times think the worst before it actually happens or think we know what someone else is thinking when we don't. When we begin to do this more frequently and it leads to anxiety and stress, then it's a problem.

My mind did this frequently while I was sick. My friend didn't call. She hates me. She doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Now I'm going to be all alone all over again. She thinks I'm a worthless person. I can't even keep friends. My muscles tensed as tears slid down my face. I curled up in a corner and cried until my friend finally called. I couldn't see that maybe there was a good reason for why my friend didn't call on time. When she did call, she told me she had family over and didn't have a chance to call earlier.

If that wasn't bad enough, I started seeing my future as an endless pit. I even did this during my surgery. I am going to be in a lot of pain. I'll be stuck on crutches for two weeks. I will be unable to leave my house and we will be too broke to pay for my medication. My surgery will be awful and I will suffer. In the end, I was only on crutches for a couple days, I could afford my pain medication, and the pain wasn't that bad.

This type of thinking is called jumping to conclusions. It has two parts, mind reading and fortune teller. You can find this cognitive distortion in David D. Burns, M.D.'s book, Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy. Minding reading is where you predict what others are thinking. Fortune teller is where you predict the future before it happens.

In therapy I learned to look at the reason why a friend didn't call on time. The friend could have been busy, an unexpected guest could have shown up, her phone may not been working, or she may have forgotten. Most importantly, I learned to be patient and to take a deep breath. Sometimes I still fall back into my pattern and I have to remind myself to list the possible reasons for why a friend or family member didn't call or arrive when they said they would.

When I predict the future, I have to remind myself no one can tell what's going to happen. I must take each day as it comes. I have to tell myself to stop and wait and see what life brings me.

With hard work, you can take control of jumping to conclusions and fight them each time they occur. I remind myself there isn't always a negative side to the future, and I can't predict what others think.