THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

Most people who are suffering with mental illness desire to reach recovery, to be happy, and to be in control of their illness. There are a few who are content in their sad world and resist any attempts to get well, but for many the need for a life within the light is a goal worth fighting for. The road to recovery is a long one that can take years and lots of hard work to reach. In the end it is a road worth taking.

The road to recovery can be dark and lonely. You might feel as if you'll never reach recovery. You might want to give up. You might feel as if it's hopeless, but it's not. It's not a fight for the weak. You may think you're not strong, but if you look deep inside yourself you'll see you're stronger then you think.

My road to recovery seemed endless. I fought it through college and found recovery only to slip back into depression several years later. I thought my life was doomed to be spent in darkness. Reaching recovery once again seemed hopeless, especially since I had fallen into an abusive relationship. Once the relationship ended I

realized, I wanted to live a normal life. In order to find happiness, I had to fight.

The road to recovery was filled with many bumps and detours. I'd find happiness only to relapse into sadness. I thought I was failing myself, but my therapist told me it was normal to have some setbacks. Before I met my husband, it seemed like the setbacks happened more often. I felt as if my life was at a dead end. Some of my friendships ended, I went to work and came home every day and after my abusive relationship, I thought no man could ever love me. Despite the road blocks I continued to fight, go to therapy, and take my medication.

Then I met my husband and my road to recovery took a turn towards the light. I suddenly had a life, respect, love, and nurturing. The road became brighter and the darkness began to fade. The sad times came less often and for a time, after we were married, life seemed perfect. Then there came some bumps in the road: the stress of work, unresolved feelings from past abuse, and excessive worries and fears that in time my husband would leave me.

With my husband's and therapist's help I faced each of those bumps one at a time, to only find more bumps. I realized I had to keep on the road which meant I had to keep fighting.

The road to recovery took place over a period of several years. Once I found recovery, true happiness and strength filled me. My therapist said I no longer needed her and I knew I was standing above the hole. The road to recovery had ended, but the road of recovery had just begun. There is much I have to do to stay well. I have to still fight my illness with new found strength; I have to take my medicine and take the necessary steps to stay well.

Even though the road to recovery only leads to a new road, I wouldn't change it for anything. I have never been as happy as I am now. I have never cared for myself as much as I do now. I have never felt as strong as I do now. I know that I will continue on this road to stay well and I will not fail. I might hit bumps and detours, but I know with help from God, my friends, my husband and my family, I can stay within the light.