WHAT'S YOUR TRIGGER?

Since major depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, there is no one thing in your life that causes your sadness. However, there are many things that trigger you to fall deeper into your hole, and while in recovery, there are things that can stir up those dark feelings again. These triggers are different stressors, thought patterns, or events in your life that are hard to handle. When you're in recovery it's important to know what triggers the depression within you.

When I was in college, I had many triggers that sent me deeper into my hole: Studying long hours to work around my learning disability put extra stress in my life and often made me lonely. Dealing with an abusive friendship made me feel even more worthless. Facing grief from my cousin's death increased my sadness. Each of these pushed me to a point of crisis. I fell to the deepest spot within my hole. Each of these triggers caused my soul to ache, and to relieve that pain, I injured.

In my adulthood, I found more triggers pushing me into darkness. Dealing with finances made me worry endlessly and become anxious. Making mistakes at work sent my mind racing, and caused tears and sadness to fill me. Bad relationships pushed me deeper into the darkness. My attempts to move out of my parents' home, only to end up back home, triggered more anguish and tears.

I learned in therapy and in a support group to identify the triggers that pushed me deeper into my depression. Then I had to learn how to face those triggers and work around them to reach for recovery. I ended friendships that were unhealthy. I continually work on ways to handle finances without worrying too much. I keep customer compliments in my journal, and when I make a mistake at work, I read them to remind me I am a good cashier. I put limits on how much I can handle at once and I found ways to deal with stress.

Knowing what triggers emotional episodes with my Borderline Personality Disorder also became important in my process of recovery. Some triggers are disagreements with friends or family members, unhealthy relationships, highly emotional situations, unreleased anger, fear of abandonment, and stress.

Find out what your triggers are and create an action plan to handle them. You might call a friend, pamper yourself, remind yourself of the positive things in your life, distance yourself from the situation or people who are causing you sadness, communicate feelings, and so on. Find what works best for you.

When you are in recovery, it's important to know the warning signs of your depression or mental illness being triggered. See, recovery does not mean you're cured, but you're in remission like with cancer. Certain triggers can stir your mental illness, and knowing the warning signs and how to handle them can help you stay above the hole.

Here are some warning signs that you are being drawn into sadness: Sudden spells of crying, racing thoughts, being sad for no reason, being unable to enjoy things that once made you happy, mood swings and becoming withdrawn. Figure out your warning signs and triggers and write them down. Share them with your support system so they can help you stay above the hole.

Knowing my triggers and warning signs and having an action plan helps me stay within the light.